Blog

Article on Changing Relationship Structures

Posted on July 7, 2015 at 1:50 AM Comments comments (0)

Hello all!

Just a quick link to an article on polyamory and changing relationship structures that features some comments and information about Imanadari from Nina, as well as some comments from Anne Hunter, a relationships coach from Melbourne. 

The article can be found here.

Mardi Gras Caption Contest!

Posted on January 13, 2014 at 11:50 PM Comments comments (3)

Mardi Gras is coming and we need your help! We need some same sex and poly themed postcards to let the world know that Imanadari Counselling is a fun (and safe) space for same sex attracted couples and poly peeps.


Help us caption our post cards with some same sex attracted and poly misunderstandings.


For example -


"And then I realised... I was caught in the lesbian web of death."

"And then I realised...that's not what drag racing means"

"No, no, my husband's partner is lovely - it's just her girlfriend I can't stand!"


Leave your best caption in the comments. Our favourite caption will receive a $50 gift voucher from Max Black and will go on our new postcards to be used at Mardi Gras Fair Day and beyond.


Polyamory 101

Posted on October 29, 2012 at 6:20 AM Comments comments (0)

Hello all! Someone suggested to us the other day that we creat a "polyamory 101" cheatsheet. What a brilliant idea! Below are some helpful hints to keep in mind if you are planning to open up your relationship.

 

Arm yourself with information. Join a group or community, read some books, or look on the internet. This will mean that people who have been there before you can help you avoid making common mistakes.

Get out of the “scarcity” mindset. Living in a monogamous society means that we tend to think of love as a finite thing. There is a fear that if someone gives their love away, there will be less left for you. Try to shift to the “abundance” mindset. If you are feeling worried or scared, ask yourself – how would I treat this situation if I knew, 100%, that there was always enough love in the world for me?

Don’t just treat your partner how you would like to be treated – treat them how they would like to be treated. Imagine buying your spouse tickets to a rock concert because you like rock music, or a pot plant because you like gardening. Ask your partner what is important to them, and then strive to provide them with it, even if it is something you wouldn’t necessarily want/need.

Don’t insist on everything being equal. Some couples function perfectly well with one partner being monogamous and the other partner having several relationships. Or one partner might have very casual relationships, while the other might have very committed relationship. Do what works for you, not what you think should work.

Remember, you may have infinite love, but you don’t have infinite time. It’s great being able to see other people, but a garden doesn’t flourish if you don’t tend to it regularly, and neither will your relationship. Make sure you regularly put aside time to spend alone with each of your partners.

Be aware of NRE (new relationship energy). When you enter into a new relationship, physical changes take place in the brain that mean you are unable to think rationally. These changes can last anywhere from 6-12 months. Put some safeguards in place to make sure you don’t neglect your other partners during this time. If you partner is the one experiencing NRE, try to be extra compassionate – they aren’t thinking clearly.

Create a relationship agreement of some kind. Even if you do nothing more than write two sentences on a piece of paper, stick them in a drawer somewhere and never look at them again, I guarantee the resulting discussion will be one the most productive and informative you have ever had.

Be prepared to see a professional. You wouldn’t buy a new car and then never have it serviced. Having an open relationship is like trading in the old car and building a new one from scratch with no instructions. It’s ok to need help with it.

 


Survey for LGBTIQ/alternative sexualities in the UK

Posted on August 23, 2012 at 8:25 PM Comments comments (0)

Hi everyone!

Reposting for Joseph De Lappe at Pink Therapy - Joseph is a Kink Aware therapist in the UK, and is currently running a survey for the UK community -

Where do you go when your relationship(s) are in distress?

We want to reach LGB and T identified people, plus all the other GSD groups: people who identify as asexual, kinky, poly, swingers/those in The Lifestyle. Basically anyone who might feel that mainstream counselling or relationship therapy isn't for them.

 

All data is anonymous and confidential and cookies have been disabled for additional security. The survey link is

 [https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/GSDsupport]

Should you want any further information, or have any comment to make, please feel to contact the researcher Joseph De Lappe [email protected]

Polyamory in the news

Posted on December 9, 2011 at 10:20 PM Comments comments (0)

Check out the latest article on Polyamory in the Australian 

http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/features/three-in-marriage-bed-more-of-a-good-thing/story-e6frg6z6-1226218569577

The article is about the Polyamory Mardi Gras float and polyamory and gay marriage, including some comments from myself on the issue. 

They have equated community support for gay marriage as a push for poly marriage, but that wasn't unexpected by myself and the other commentors. There is a common joke among the poly community that the argument seems to be "first gay marriage, then group marriage, then goats!"

However, I think it's a sign of the times that even a conservative paper like the Australian felt the need to be respectful and give us a voice at all - it's definitely a positive move forward for everyone.